Q.1 Explain and discuss how self-awareness and self-discrepancy influence self-esteem, and the processes that individuals use to maintain or improve their self-esteem

Introduction

Self awareness refers to the knowledge of one’s personality that is, strengths, weaknesses, interests, likes, and dislikes. Self discrepancy refers to the state of a person holding conflicting beliefs of him / her self while self esteem refers to the thoughts, opinions, values and feelings about self. The degrees of self awareness and self discrepancy within an individual may lead to one having a low / negative or positive / high esteem. Low or negative esteem refers to the situation of a person having bad feelings about self while high esteem refers to the state of a person having good feelings about self. This paper will examine how self awareness and self discrepancies can make a person have either low or self esteem and the processes that individuals use to maintain or improve their self esteem.

Self awareness helps us know what stresses us and as such can try as much as possible to avoid it. It also helps us know when we are stressed and how to deal with the stress since we already know the cause. It also helps us in sympathizing and empathizing with others when they are in difficulties (Sindier, 2010). and also helps us in communicating and maintaining relationship with our friends.

Higgins, (1987), highlights three types of the individual self. Depiction of the attributes that an individual personally believes to have is referred to as the actual self. Secondly, the ideal self which refers to ones depiction of the attributes that someone else would like one to possess. Thirdly, the ought self which refers to the depiction of the attributes another person feels one should or ought to possess.

According to Baumeister, (2010) Self discrepancy is one’s comparison with internal beliefs, opinions and values and in the event these are conflicting the individual will have emotional discomfort. Just like the individual self in self awareness, there is the ideal and the ought discrepancies both of which cause different negative emotions. According to Philips & Silvia, (2010), high self awareness impacts to cause strength in the relationship between one’s discrepancies and emotions. On the other hand, Higgins, (1987) who based his research on the self discrepancy theory, holds that conflicts between actual and the ideal self are a major cause of depression and discrepancy.

Self esteem can be either high or low depending on the level of self awareness and self discrepancy in an individual. High self esteem instills individual confidence while low self esteem causes does the contrary. The causes of high self esteem include praise, (from friends, workmates, employer etc), self confidence, being trusted, exemplary performance at work or in academics, being respected and listened to, being seen as a role model etc. The causes of low esteem on the other hand include being seen or seeing oneself as a failure, being criticized, ignored, ridiculed, harassed etc. Other causes of low self esteem are natural and include being disabled either physically or either in way or another, being poor, slow learner etc as will be discussed below , the solution to this is accepting things the way they are.

Low or negative esteem is dangerous to health and life and one should try as much as possible top avoid being in that state. The consequences of low self esteem include break up of relationships, poor job and academic performances, suicide, loneliness, short temper, stress, irritability, depression, anger etc. Persons with low esteems have little valuation of their and ideas and opinions and rarely make important personal decisions and always see themselves as inferior to others and disadvantaged. People with positive or high self esteem make decisions quickly and easily since they value their opinions and ideas, see themselves as being worth, have confidences in themselves including their physical appearance and work.

The processes that individuals use to maintain or improve their self-esteem include; first, maintaining basic personal care and this includes ensuring one has adequate sleep, exercising regularly, maintaining good physical, mental and environmental hygiene etc. secondly relaxing and this includes undertaking ones’s hobby which may include watching movies, visiting friends, lighting scented candles etc, thirdly setting achievable goals and this entails undertaking duties, responsibilities and activities one can comfortably do so for example undertaking to study for  two masters from different fields of study at the same time.

The fourth way of maintaining or improving self esteem is getting help from others when in experiencing a low esteem moment like a professional counselor, spiritual leader, trusted friend, relative, attorney etc. Fifthly, rewarding oneself for the activities accomplished for example after attaining good grades in an examination or getting promotion in a job, one can spend a night off with a friend. Self acceptance is also another widely accepted method of improving or maintaining esteem since one will not be stressed by what others have achieved but what he has personally achieved.

Finally, reducing and avoiding stress which encompasses all the already discussed methods of maintaining or improving esteem is the best. To do this it is good in life to identify the causes of stress since they vary form individual to individual. The unnatural causes of stress like a fastidious boss, spouse etc can be avoided through divorce, resignation from work etc however, there are unnatural causes of stress like paraplegia resulting from an accident, ill health, weakness, etc. In these circumstances, it is advisable to accept the way things are and if possible join an organization of other persons in similar or same problems as yours.

Conclusion

       From the ongoing discussion, it is clear that the levels of self awareness and self discrepancy in an individual will lead to the individual having a low or high self esteem since the levels fluctuate day today depending on the activities one is undertaking Since it is clear that low esteem is dangerous to an individual’s health and life, being aware of one self and knowing the discrepancies in ones mind is very essential for living. Since high esteem can be acquired and maintained by ensuring self awareness and dealing with individual discrepancies, avoiding factors which cause low esteem is essential and this paper has outlined and discussed the main methods of avoiding stress and the steps to take when one is in low esteem.

Bearing in mind the dire consequences which may result from an individual having low esteem, an individual should try as much as possible to understand his / her inner self. One should also identify his discrepancies and look for ways to solve them as outlined and discussed in this paper.

REFERENCES

Baumeister, R & Finkel, E. (2010). Advanced  Social Psychology: The State of Science. Oxford University Press. n.p

Higgins, E. (1987). Discrepancy: A Theory Relating To Self Affect. Psychological Review. Vol 94, N0.3, pp. 319 – 340.

Philips,A & Silvia, P.( 2010). Self Awareness and the Emotional Consequences of Self Discrepancies. Sage Journals Online. Web 05 – 11 – 2010. <http://psp.sagepub.com/content/31/5/703.abstract>

Sindier, J. (2010). The Influences of Having a high or low self esteem. Ezine Articles online Web 05 – 11 – 2010. < http://ezinearticles.com>