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My future job

Actually I need someone to rewrite my paragraph. I am a ESL( English as a second language) student. I wrote a paragraph about my future job that I uploaded now. But I have some errors on that, my teacher wrote some note on that paper that I uploaded. My paper need 3 main Idea in topic sentence and each main ideas needs two example and at the end it need conclusion. I want you to do whatever you think is better and if you want you can change all of it.

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