Audience Relationship: Emphasize the positive- revise these sentences to be positive rather than negative. 1) To avoid damage to your credit rating, please remit payment within 10 days. 2) We don’t offer refunds on returned merchandise that is soiled. 3) Because we are temporarily out of Baby cry dolls, we wont be able to ship your order for 10 days. 4) You failed to specify the color of the blouse that you ordered. 5) you should have realized that waterbeds will freeze in unheated houses during winter. therefore our guarantee does not cover the valve damage, and you must pay the $9.50 valve-replacement fee plus postage.
Audience relationship: Bias free language rewrite each of the following to eliminate bias 1) For an Indian, Maggie certainly is outgoing. 2) He needs a wheelchair, but he doesn’t let his handicap affect his job performance. 3)A pilot must have the ability to stay calm under pressure, and then he must be trained to cope with any problem that arises. 4) Candidate Renata Parsons, married and the mother of a teenager, will attend the debate. 5) Senior citizen Sam Nugent is still an active salesman.

Message Composition: Selecting words As you rewrite these sentences, replace the clichés and buzzwords with plain language. 1) Being a jack-of-all-trades, Dave worked well in his new general manager job. 2) Moving Leslie into the accounting department, where she was literally a fish out of water, was like putting a square peg into a round hole, if you get my drift. 3) My only takeaway from the offsite was that Laird threw his entire department under the bus for missing the deadline. 4) I’ve love to help with that project, but I’m bandwidth-constrained. 5) The board green-lighted our initiative to repurpose our consumer products for the commercial space.

Message Organization: Transitional Elements. Add transitional Element to the following sentences to improve the flow of ideas( you may need to eliminate or add some words to smooth out your sentences. 1) Steve Case saw infinite possibilities in online business. Steve Case was determined to turn his vision into reality. The techies scoffed at his strategy of building a simple internet service for ordinary people. Case doggedly pursued his dreams. He analyzed other online services. He assessed the needs of his customers. He responded to their desires for an easier way to access information over the internet. In 1992, Steve Case names his company(AOL). Critics predicted to company’s demise. By the end of the century, AOL was a profitable powerhouse. An ill-fated merger with Time Warner was a financial disaster and led to Case’s ouster from the company. 2) Facing some of the toughest competitors in the world, Harley-Davidson had to make some changes. The company introduced new products. Harley’s management team set out to rebuild the company’s production process. New products were coming to market and the company was turning a profit. Harley’s quality standards were not on par with those of it’s foreign competitors. Harley’s costs were still among the highest in the industry. Harley made a U-turn and restructured the company’s organizational structure. Harley’s efforts have paid off. 3) Whether your indulging in a doughnut in New York or California, Krispy Kreme wants you to enjoy the same delicious taste with every bite. The company maintains consistent product quality by carefully controlling every step of the production process. Krispy Kreme tests all raw ingredients against established quality standards. Every delivery of wheat flour is sampled and measured for it’s moisture content and protein levels. Krispy Kreme blends the ingredients . Krispy Kreme tests the doughnut mix for quality. Krispy Kreme delivers the mix to it’s stores. Financial critics are not as kind to the company as food critics have been. Allegations of improper Financial Reporting have left the company’s future in doubt.